It was the night after my 38 week appointment and group class…all day long I was feeling a little off and slightly cramping but feeling that way for weeks kind of makes you feel like you’re always just gaslighting yourself into it being labor starting so it was pretty easy to ignore. Chris and I went to bed like any other night. I kind of felt myself in and out of sleep…the kind of sleep where you almost know you’re still awake but half in the other world when I felt and quite literally heard a POP. I started feeling some water trickle out of me and just thought I was probably peeing myself a little bit, I was so tired and so close to the end I didn’t even care anymore about getting up to see I just wanted to sleep. But a few minutes later I felt more water, and then more and I realized MY WATER BROKE. I jolted up in and bed and woke up Chris immediately telling him I think my water broke and to grab me a towel to which he helped me up to the toilet where I sat down and in fact leaked more and more water which seemingly did not stop for the entire duration of my labor! At this point it was 1:30 AM and even though my heart was racing with nerves and excitement I knew it could be hours if not all day before the baby decides to come so after calling Maura to let her know, and checking in with my doula Lindsay (Fertile Roots) Chris and I went to lay back down.
All night long I was having contractions. They weren’t strong enough to have to get out of bed and move through them but they were enough to keep me awake. The nerves and excitement also didn’t help but finally sometime around 5 in the morning I finally fell into some real sleep. Our alarms went off at 7:30 AM to which I realized I actually was sleeping and that my contractions really came to a stop. I was grateful as I have an older one at home who we were desperately hoping to be able to get on the bus and ready for school before the baby comes- this all worked out exactly as we hoped. After he was on the bus I decided to go lay back down, I was running off only a few hours of sleep and since this was not my first rodeo with labor I knew all the rest I could get was important. Chris made me some food as I anxiously laid in bed while I *tried* to rest and wait for the contractions to kick back up. Maura and the Coit House team were keeping in constant contact with me by this point, asking me for updates as to which I unfortunately had none. Around Noon I was starting to feel worried that I wasn’t having any contractions so per my doula’s advice Chris and I went for a walk around the neighborhood hoping to ramp things up. All I felt was fluids leaking, LOL. When we got home I was doing everything I could think of at this point to get things going, the miles circuit, different positions, curb walking, you name it. Maura at this point recommended we come in to check that it was actually my waters that broke and to administer a castor oil smoothie with the intentions of getting things going. I had alot of internal conflict over this as I was realllllly hoping my body would just naturally start contracting. I also was scared because I knew once I took the smoothie there was no going back and while I was ready to meet my baby, I was nervous of the unknowns of labor. After a lot of conversation with Chris, my doula and Maura we decided to pack our bags and go into the Coit House to have this baby! When we got there it was quiet in the best way. We really lucked out. It was just us, Maura and nurse Ashley as it stayed the entire duration of our stay. Maura immediately checked to see if my waters had broken (they did) and see if I was dilated (I was…3 CM!) It doesn’t seem like much but to be 3 CM with virtually no pain yet was amazing. I was stoked. Chris and I prepared to hunker down at this point, as I drank my 1st castor oil smoothie we brought our things in and settled into the big room which we were very excited for! It was SO cozy, and dreamy and we were really grateful to be in a space that was next best to home. We put on our playlist we made for the labor and laid together on the bed for a while. It was amazing to be able to do this and just soak in our last moments of “just us”. The Coit House encourages you to move around, get outside and do whatever you feel like you need to do for yourself during labor so Chris and I decided to go walk around the neighborhood. It was an absolutely beautiful day. 65 degrees on March 11th which isn’t something we see often in Buffalo and to be walking around hand in hand with my partner in the heart of Allentown while my body is gearing up to give birth was just such a surreal experience. We even walked as far as Jim’s Steak out! Tell me what hospital would give you this kind of freedom!? Chris grabbed himself some food as we really didn’t eat much all day and I started feeling like I was ready to get back to home base. My contractions were finally starting to pickup to the point where I had to stop walking and work through them as we made our way back. We got back around 5 PM and updated Maura on how I was feeling and they suggested a 2nd smoothie to my dismay (the first one was somewhat fine to choke down but learning a second one was on the horizon was less then appetizing.) I was able to get down most of the second one and within 20 minutes I used the bathroom and that was it. Things were really moving. I was no longer nervous at this point, as the contractions pulled out of my head and into my body as they do.
Up until this point it had just been Chris and I all day. I really wanted it to just be him and I for as long as possible but also knowing when things started picking up that we would invite My Mom, his Mom and of course our Doula, Lindsay to be there with us. By 5:30 Chris had sent a text to everyone to let them know it was time to come! At this point I was already really feeling the contractions intensely. I was unable to talk through them and even after they were done I felt quiet and like I needed to be restful. I have heard stories of Moms being able to laugh and joke and speak freely in between contractions but like the 1st time I gave birth, the 2nd time was the same and I really needed to just focus. Lindsay arrived around 6 PM and at this point I was laboring on the toilet, this felt really good during my 1st labor and so I thought I would give it another try as they call it the “dilatation station” and I was ready to do the work to get our baby earth side. I found this to be less than comfortable this time around and so I made my way back into the birthing room where I spent the next hour and half on my hands and knees sometimes being assisted by the birthing ball, and sometimes propping myself up against Chris. At some point during this hour both my mom and Chris’s Mom arrived. They both spoke softly, they weren’t disruptive to my flow and they cheered me on and held my hands and hugged and touched me when and how I wanted. Everyone including nurse Ashley and Maura were extremely respectful of my space and boundaries as I labored. They let it be MY labor, and treated me as birthing woman and not a sick, suffering patient. Ashley periodically checked the heartrate of the baby and every time she did she was soft, gentle and WAITED until I was comfortable, the contraction was over and I was ready. She never inserted herself with “I have to do this now” or “We can’t wait”. She did an amazing job of doing her job without disrupting or harming the state I was in. By around 7 Lindsay and Chris both suggested the birthing tub. Being able to labor and potentially give birth in water was extremely high on my list of wants for my labor as I have always found a calmness in water. Although, the whole time I was laboring I was SO HOT the thought of getting in the tub sounded dreadful. Everyone reminded me it would take awhile for the tub to fill up and that if I decided I wanted to do it they should start filling it now before it was too late so I accepted. Maura asked to check how dilated I was at this point before going in to the tub as I think they like you to have progressed to a certain point before offering the tub. I was really struggling at this point and the thought of moving, walking, standing, doing anything then exactly what I was doing sounded horrible. I also was terrified that she would check me and I wouldn’t have progressed much. I have to say I really enjoy the hands off nature of Maura. Had I not had wanted to potentially go in the tub she wouldn’t have checked me once and would have let my body just do it’s thing. I tried to make my way to the bed to be checked and as I walked there I remember falling to my knees with another contraction and saying, “I can’t do this.” I remember this moment because I never meant that I couldn’t do labor any longer, but I meant I couldn’t move and make it to the bed. In all honesty, there was never a point where I thought “I can’t do this”. I knew I could. Not only because I already had once before naturally in a hospital setting but because I was BORN for this. As a woman, my body is biologically designed for this. I put in so much prep work mentally and physically for the last 9 months as well that I never once doubted my ability and my baby’s ability to naturally give birth. When I finally made it to the bed Maura checked me and i was at a NINE! The shock and relief I felt was so immense, I immediately got off the bed, squatted down and talked to my baby. I told them I was ready for them and they were safe and they could come now. When the tub finished filling I was guided there by Chris and Lindsay and hesitated before going in. Chris reminded me how much I had wanted to try to use the birthing tub and so as I stepped in around 7:40 PM I finally felt my body temp regulate but I also started feeling the most intense contractions yet. As my body worked it’s way from a 9-10 being in the tub I felt like an animal on display. I felt everyone’s eyes on me and I wanted to just run away and do this on my own. I remember everyone touching me and then I had a contraction and I rushed to the opposite side of the tub with my back to everyone to feel alone. There was a part of me that knew I wanted everyone there, so I didn’t want to tell them to leave, but also just the intensity of the contractions made me feel so touched out. I had one final contraction that I will never forget that felt like it was breaking me open, I almost screamed for help as I pushed on my own hips, I could literally feel them spreading for the babys descent. My body started pushing at this point, it had nothing to do with me, I couldn’t have stopped even if I tried. I asked Chris to get in the tub with me so I could lean against him as I pushed. I got what felt like really long breaks in between pushing that I was grateful for. The whole time I had my own hands inside me feeling my babies head coming closer and closer. The only time Maura touched me was when I asked her to for confirmation that what I was feeling was the babys head. She seemed hesitant and I remember her saying, ” I can if you really want me to.” I was nervous, I wanted to be sure. Even still, I appreciate her wanting to be hands off. She trusted my body almost more then I did myself in that moment it seemed. I remember looking up during one of my rests between contractions and seeing all of these beautiful women looking at me and instead of now feeling “all eyes on me” I felt so vulnerable and connected as they have all at one point been in my shoes, birthing babies themselves. Their compassion and love just filled me and within a few guttural pushes I birthed the babies head. I remember screaming, but I don’t remember the pain. I geared myself up to push the rest of the baby out and as I did Maura gently made sure everything was okay before assisting me in lifting it out and onto my chest at 8:11 PM.
It’s the craziest feeling to go from intense contractions and labor to it all coming to a stop. I felt so relieved that my baby was here and that everything was over but the shift from coming back down to the real world from the other plane I felt like I was in was hard and surreal. But hearing the baby let out one good cry and our Mom’s remark at how “it looks like Chris” were extremely heartwarming and I was eager to find out the gender as we decided to wait until the birth to find out. With a boy at home already, and Chris’ family being a huge “boy family” I was already anticipating a boy. I spread the legs for Chris to look and announce…”It’s a boy!” There was no other feeling then happy and proud and ready for life with this tiny human despite my hard time coming down from the labor. I birthed the placenta which really was very easy and fascinating to see as Chris cut the cord he got out and did skin to skin immediately with the baby as Maura, Ashley and Lindsay helped me out of the tub to the bed for our Golden Hour which I was very much looking forward to as I did not get this true experience with my 1st. Chris and I placed our orders (DELICIOUS pizza and homemade breakfast sandwiches ummmm yes!!!!) and everyone left the room for us to enjoy and bask in the newness of our baby. We also had not decided on a name at this point, so while admiring his beautiful cleft chin (like his daddy) and dimples in his cheeks, we finally agreed on Oliver *Oli*. The golden hour was beautiful because it allowed us the privacy to really LOOK at our baby, to work on getting him to latch (which he did like a pro) and just allowing us the space to be with our baby before letting the world at him. When we were ready we invited everyone back in to enjoy in him with us. He literally (no exaggeration) did not cry after his first cry to the world and I know it’s because every test and every check was done right on the bed with me at arms length away. At no point did anyone take Oli away from me, out of my sight or into an environment that didn’t include me. And the best part? We were home in our own bed by MIDNIGHT!
Honestly, this birth was so healing and so magical. I know that no matter what plans we had for our labor and what are expectations and hopes were doesn’t mean that is how things will pan out but we truly were blessed to have every piece happen exactly the way we had hoped. I truly believe to my core this wouldn’t have been possible without the support and foundations of the Coit House. I truly believe had we had went any other route my labor with it’s slow start after my waters breaking would have ended with intervention at best.
The first few weeks with Oli were much like the labor…healing and exactly what we had hoped for. As a second time Mom I really prioritized and prepared for the post partum period this time. Lots of freezer meals ready, stations set up around the house with diapers, nipple butter, etc to make sure I didn’t need to move too much and an extremely supportive partner who really made the post partum bubble so dreamy. He did all the heavy lifting around the house and with our older son so I could really focus on nursing and resting with Oliver. We thoroughly enjoyed these weeks together with nothing to do but co exist as a family, marvel at our newborn and watch our oldest step into the role of “Big Bro”. Oli had and still has such an easy going temperament. If he’s crying there is usually a reason. And I have to ask myself, is it luck or is it instinct that Oliver never really cries? Is it the fact that someone is always ready to pick him up as soon as he stirs, and whines or is it his chest right against mine while he sleeps that results in restful nights for the whole house? Life with a newborn was exactly how it should’ve been…me tending to him, while others tended to me. I know I am lucky for this experience, it can’t happen without support and love from those around you. It can’t happen without knowledge and willingness and an understanding for what it is the Mother and the Baby actually need. And so, a huge THANK YOU to the Coit House and Maura and the staff for being there and educating us so we could educate our village so that my experience could be as blissful as it was.
When Chris and I got pregnant we knew almost immediately we did not want to have a traditional hospital birth. Having a partner who supported that and wanted that made the decision that much easier and the second we toured the Coit House we were all in. We learned so much from the group care appointments and found them extremely informative and interesting. While I didn’t find myself to be uneducated about physiological birth I still found so much benefit from these classes. Being in a quiet, calm, supportive environment to let my body do what it knows how to do while knowing Maura was there and would step in when she knew she needed to was all I could truly ask for and I would never even consider birthing anywhere else but here again.
